About the college kid who was called a shoplifter and laughed at after walking into a boutique on Kiawah Island.
Why do I care?
The moment was reminiscent of Pretty Woman. You know the one, Julia Roberts walks into a high end store, the clerks give her one glance and immediately make assumptions about her? In this case, it’s Casey Parham, a young college student, who was immediately profiled as a shoplifter when she walked into a boutique, due to her race.
Tell me more.
Casey walked into Carolina Girls, a store on Kiawah Island, where her family owns a home a couple of days ago with her friend. Her goal? To purchase a Vera Bradley wallet to take back to college. As she walked into the store, she heard the clerk say, “shoplifter” to another clerk, and they both laughed. As you can imagine she was humiliated and shocked. And, so began the loss of her innocence because this was her first experience with racism. She and her mother, Rene Syler, are both are heartbroken, and frustrated. Rightfully so. But, it doesn’t end there.
What should have yielded a simple apology by the store after calling them out, has since turned into a lack of accountability and an unnecessary attempt to cover-up their less-than-stellar employee’s actions. What could have been handled quickly, and with tact spiraled into a PR nightmare for the store. and turned into a megaphone moment for Syler and her daughter, shining a light on discrimination. Both sides have conducted media interviews, and there’s still no real resolution. It’s a tale of resilience in the face of humiliation and speaking up when it might otherwise have been easier to keep quiet. It’s a lesson in using your voice for a greater good and teaching our kids that they are more than what people say. It’s also a lesson that in spite of negativity, there really are more good people than bad because, as Syler points out, their community online and otherwise, truly gathered around them through this time.
That’s What She Said
“That’s not fair!”
How many times have you heard this in your household? Too many to count we bet. Apparently, this need for fairness is hard-wired in our children from a young age. So, what’s a parent to do? Try the ‘Game Theory’ which offers up scenarios where a child has to make ‘fair’ decisions, the end result being no fighting. Some of these include:
- I cut, you pick. This is great for splitting a treat or snack item. One child cuts, the other gets to pick.
- Tit for tat. This works well for managing a clean-up sesh. You pick up one, I pick up one. You wash one, I wash one until it’s all done.
- Random dictator. Does everyone have a different idea for where to go for dinner? Each person put an idea into a hat, and the decision (movie, activity, dinner plan) is chosen randomly.
Put Your Best Foot Forward
Learning to take ‘purposeful pauses’, among other things that nurture your well-being is the key to healthier heart and mindset and avoid becoming over-stressed according to Dr. Patrick Williams. He shares seven strategies for getting out of a stressful head space and into a more relaxed place, and we’re pretty sure we can get on board. Our favorites?
- Take ‘purposeful pauses’ – meaning truly stop and make time to sit in silence, read or do some type of quiet activity without distraction. This will work as your daily re-set.
- Extreme self-care – be willing to commit to time that is just yours. As parents, we often sacrifice that time but what we need is a walk alone on the beach, a pedicure or massage. It’s a necessary part to your well-being, according to Williams. We’re game, how about you?
- Find your tribe – by being a part of a like-minded group who are on the same path of positivity and purposeful self-care, will help you stay on track. Exercise, read, and discuss life together. You will find yourself more focused on your goal of a healthier mindset when you work on that goal with your like-minded pals.
Parting Thought for the Day
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou
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